Born and bred in good ol’ Lahore, this Lahori munda has done us proud in many fields. His claim to fame is painting, singing, dancing and acting. With his adverts zapped nationwide on billboards and television channels, singing and dancing to his own composition, Ali Zafar goes around painting the town yellow and red. Shuffling between the neighbouring Indian film industry, local adverts and composing albums, he is a busy man, yet he was kind enough to take my call whilst driving back home from his dentist appointment. Given the lack of time and opportunities to meet him, I managed a ‘lightning round’ with him over the phone.

Me: If ever given a chance to act for this side of the border, would you like to act in Pakistani dramas or films? If yes, who would you like your drama queen to be? Ali Zafar (AZ): For now films. The queen can be anyone as long as she doesn’t create a drama on the set. (Munda of small words eh?) Me: We have seen the funny bone in you in your last six Indian films. Will we get to see the emotional or evil side of yours? AZ: Well, all these films did have some serious and emotional quotient but yes, by and large they were comedy films. London, Paris, New York was a romantic film. However, Kill Dil is the film where you would get to see me in a completely different avatar. More serious and grey! (Okay never mind, he talks, like all Lahoris) Me: I am personally very fond of your song ‘Jhoom’. What is the inspiration behind it? AZ: I wrote the song as a medium of devotion to ‘life’ itself. It speaks about how life reflects itself in each and everything. It was written during a time I was going through a sort of reflective pensive phase in life. If you see the video of this song, you would see the depiction of drifting away from the glitz and glamour into a simpler side of life and finding happiness there. (Wah, deep!) Me: Success is public, and so is failure. Does that bother you? How do you cope with it? AZ: Failure is your best teacher. If you experience it with an open mind, you can gain a lot from it. (Tart reply, eh!) Me: What is the difference and similarity between Ali Zafar in NCA days and Ali Zafar nowadays? AZ: I was a student of arts during NCA days. I still am a student of arts in life! (Aww sweet, so young at heart) Me: When it comes to women, is IQ (Intelligence Quotient) more important or EQ (Emotional Quotient)? AZ: IQ, EQ, ZQ, YQ, all go hand in hand Me: Hahah… and what would ZQ and YQ be? AZ: The readers should employ their IQ’s to find out. (Funny bone again) Me: On a personal level, what is your daily routine like? AZ: I love spending time with my family, love intense work out sessions and eating a balanced healthy diet.

 “Meiney tujhey dekha subhah key ujalon mein Nadiya mein, naalon mein Lamho mein, saalon mein Pyaar karney waalon mein Junoon mein, jiyaalo mein Ishq key malaalon mein Zinda misalon mein Jitni tu milti jayee, utni lagi thodi thodi” (I saw you in the morning light In lakes, in drains In moments, in years In two lovers In passion, in followers In love’s guilt In life’s examples The more I get you, the less it seems)

It is a truth acknowledged in the subcontinent that no meeting is complete without a cup of chai (tea). The freshly brewed combination of masalas, cardamom or a frothy cup of doodh pati touches the tip of the tongue, instantly refreshing one’s mind. Some have even argued that chai purifies their souls. We all certainly love our tea!  The addiction is tremendously mind-blowing, in its literal sense, and on a serious note, I often think Pakistani and Indians need a tea rehabilitation centre. When have you last visited a household where you weren’t offered chai? The alternative options are, of course, thanda (cold drink) or pani (water), but the fervour of making fresh chai for the guests is gratifying. The welcoming host would plead you to have chai, even if you are not an avid tea drinker. Some go into a state of denial if their offer for chai is declined or when they get to hear the forbidden words that the visitor doesn’t really drink tea. As difficult as it may be to swallow the assertion, the hosts offers you Pepsi or water. You are in a fix. You have to make a choice, something that is equivalent to a threatening drink or die situation. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] That situation is then followed by the rating of the refreshment. The guest remembers a host on the basis of how divine the tea being served at theirs is. You often hear, “The tea served at X’s house was very good.” It is as if serving the best tea possible will help the social aunties climb the social strata. Potential bahus (daughter-in-law) are also chosen on the basis of their tea-making abilities. If the husband is an avid tea drinker, the girl just has to learn how to make tea. There are no two-ways about it, period! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="236"] Photo: Pinterest[/caption] In modern times, coffee may have made place in our kitchen cabinets but chai predominantly takes up the larger portion in our hearts. What started out as a trading commodity during the British reign of the subcontinent, now sits in our jars filled to the brim. It holds the first position on our grocery list. However tea crazed we may be we cannot deny the multiple benefits it has on our health. It is considered to be a natural healer for headaches and is believed to help you digest a hefty meal, even though I am quite dubious about how that works. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] Tea contains flavonoid, commonly known as Vitamin P, which impedes the formation of cancer cells, prevents cardiovascular diseases and reduces stress levels. The alternative selections for this type of vitamin intake include apples, apricots, tomatoes, pears and raspberries. These items may not be readily available in our homes on a daily basis but tea almost always is. Be it a happy or sad occasion, tea is served, even when it is unasked for. It could also be served as a token of appreciation to the guest. It is the ultimate key to a good start to our day. The instant boost that it provides during the early hours of morning is a blessing, particularly for a groggy and irritable zombie like me lurking around the office. It is also believed to be a magic potion for connecting hearts and what not! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="250"] Photo: Giphy[/caption] Likewise, teaholics, like me, have boosted the sales of dhabba walas and are now acquainted with the little boys who deliver the daily dose at our respective workplaces. The association with tea is so strong in our culture that the little boy refers to me as ‘woh baji jo chai mangwati hein’ (that lady who asks for tea). To date, he hasn’t figured out my name, nor has he bothered to ask. Intriguingly, Pakistan is not a cultivator of tea. Our Indian counterpart is however. We may import substantial amounts of tea from Kenya, Sri Lanka and from other regions across the globe. Alas, due to rivalry with our neighbours that has spanned decades, even a cup of chai could not establish a bond of mutual understanding and consequently, we are deprived of some of the finest teas in the world! Perhaps all we really need to do is extend an invitation for chai... I am sure any problem discussed over a steaming cup of tea can be resolved. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption]

Keeping the taste of Bollywood fans and critics in mind, director Samar Shaikh and producer Dia Mirza came up with a great formula for their new movie, Bobby Jasoos, one which they thought would be a hit movie. To understand it better, the formula is a mix between women-centric movies, like No one killed Jessica, Hate Story, Dirty Picture, Gulaab Gang and English Vinglish, and detective thrillers, like John Day, Samrat & Co., Kahaani, Mr Joe B Carvalho.  [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1x4eiw_bobby-jasoos-hd-hindi-movie-trailer-2014-vidya-balan_shortfilms[/embed] So what is the movie about? Bobby Jasoos is about Bilquis Ahmed (Vidya Balan), also known as Bobby Jasoos, who aspires to be a detective and truly believes she would be a great one. But unfortunately, she doesn’t have what it takes to be a renowned detective; she lacks presentation skills, language proficiency and professional training. Her parents want her to settle down with a nice Hyderabadi boy but Bobby, being a strong-headed woman, is determined to be a spy just like James Bond and starts her own private detective agency.   [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="405"] Photo: Bobby Jasoos Facebook page[/caption] After various uninteresting cases, she is approached by Anees Khan (Kiran Kumar) who hires her for a case and pays her a hefty advance. Bobby puts her services to use and excitedly starts working on the case with the help of her friends Munna (Aakash Dahiya), Tasawur (Ali Fazal) and Shetty (Prasad Barve). Things start off as planned for Bobby but as predicted things turn become interesting when Bobby inquires about other cases she dealt with in the past for Khan. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="587"] Photo: Bobby Jasoos Facebook page[/caption] An array of performances Balan is a volcano of talent and can surprise her viewers in any given character. She did a commendable job with her comic timings and emotional bursts, and her little romantic gestures made her role complete, leaving no room for error. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="450"] Photo: Bobby Jasoos Facebook page[/caption] Fazal is talented and excels like a polished actor in some of the scenes. He looks smart, dances well and acts in a perfectly natural way. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="598"] Photo: Bobby Jasoos Facebook page[/caption] Being a power pack of dramatic scenes and emotional performances, Kumar makes an on-screen appearance after a long time. It truly was a delight to watch him in a very demanding role where he had to be composed, dubious and unpredictable. Only a well-seasoned actor could pull off the designated role and Kumar was the perfect choice. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="598"] Photo: Bobby Jasoos Facebook page[/caption] Dahiya and Barve did equal justice to their characters, providing the audience with a decent watch. On the other hand, Tanvi aazmi, Supriya Pathak and Zarina Wahab along with Rajendra Gupta were a total waste of screen time; they looked like nothing more than fillers for the movie and this did no justice to the talent they encompass. Arjan Bajwa as Lala also gave an extraordinary performance. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Bobby Jasoos Facebook page[/caption] Here comes the disappointment Being a fan of Balan’s acting abilities and always looking forward to watching a nice thriller cum detective themed movie, I had high hopes from the movie. But unfortunately, it failed to make its mark. The plot seemed half-baked and there were too many stories trying to merge into one which only ended up confusing the audience. The movie had a great cast but their talent was not utilised to its full potential. Also, one aspect that seemed to bother me was the fact that although the movie portrayed typical ‘Hyderabadis’ the accents just didn’t match my expectation. If making a hit movie was all about getting into a multiple disguises then Bobby Jasoos could have survived and made an impact. But the filmmakers need to understand that it takes a strong plot and script, and some over the top performances, to make a movie worth watching. By the end of the movie, the audiences were left with many unanswered questions, which evidently showed that the filmmakers and writers did not do justice to their work. Remember that song from the movie? I don’t either! You know how you watch a movie, especially a Bollywood movie, and this one song, or a couple in certain films, just stick to you and you can’t wait to go home to download it so you can listen to it on repeat? Yeah, that wasn’t the case here, or even close to it. I couldn’t remember any song after watching the movie and neither of them made an impact. The music ranged from anywhere between awful to below average. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="393"] Photo: Bobby Jasoos Facebook page[/caption] And the verdict is… Had the script been slightly more gripping, the movie would have been a great success. Although the actors did give it their best shot, in their respective capacities, it is always team effort that can save any enterprise and Bobby Jasoos missed the mark from miles away. In light of its weak script, confused storytelling and lack of precision I give the film a 1.5 out of 5 rating.

Mangoes, especially the luscious Chaunsa, evoke happy memories of sultry summer evenings with my late father when a mango mania of sorts would prevail over our home. A connoisseur of fine food, he would narrate numerous stories of the famous 19th century Urdu poet Mirza Ghalib’s love for mangoes as part of the ritual of devouring them. It is well-known that Ghalib’s love for mangoes took precedence over his love for poetry and this oft repeated anecdote about a donkey is my favourite; a close friend of Ghalib’s, who saw a donkey sniffing and then turning away from a heap of mango skins remarked,

“Gadhe bhi aam nahi khaate” (Even donkeys don’t eat mangoes)

“Beshak gadhe aam nahi khaate!” (Of course, donkeys don’t eat mangoes)

Back in the day, we used to watch cartoons and movies on big cassettes that would go into our VCRs. Now, we are in the era of ultra-thin discs we play on our nifty DVD players. Sleeping Beauty, an absolute favourite, that was made in 1959 also changed with time. Today, it is called 2014’s Maleficent. But is it as good as it used to be? [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="252"] Photo: Fizza Akbar[/caption] Planning to go to watch a movie at the theatre has never been a quick decision for me, so by the time I go watch a movie, more than half of the world’s population has seen it already. And let’s not forget how nobody hesitates to talk like an expert critic about a particular film after they’ve seen it. So, as expected, my Facebook newsfeed was flooded with mixed, but extreme, views on the movie. I made an attempt not to let them work as a spoiler for me. After months of restless wait, it was finally time to find out whether our childhood fairy tale had been ruined or not. I found myself looking for my seat, walking between aisles with my hands juggling the 3-D glasses and a large bowl of popcorn in anticipation of what was about to happen. So the first thing I figured was:

“Whoa, King Stefan wasn’t the great guy we believed he was.”

“Could Diaval, the crow, be her prince charming? Oh my God, yes he’s probably the one! His kiss will be true love’s first kiss.” I reckoned.

“That’s what we call irony, dear Maleficent.”

What Indian cinema fans feel about Salman Khan is somewhat similar to what Pakistanis feel about Shahid Afridi. We will never compare him with any other player of the world. We know he doesn’t have any clue about what he is doing most of the time and we still cheer for him. He fails more than he succeeds but we love him and want him to do well. I belong to a generation that was inspired by Salman Khan, or bhai as his fans would call him. Teenagers started going to gym, their fashion sense changed and their hairstyles varied with his new looks. I also wear a small chain in my left hand although it’s much thinner and does not have a turquoise stone in it. Granted that after two decades in the industry, bhai still does not know how to do an emotional scene but to his fans, that is a mere irrelevant complication in an otherwise simple business… It’s a bhai film, it has to be watched and it has to be a hit. That’s it. As Salman himself says in Kick,

“Dil mein aata hoon, samajh mein nahin.”

Ramazan is finally over! And here we are celebrating Eidul Fitr in the Far East on Monday. Fasting during the peak summer is a real test of one’s faith and endurance. My inquisitive non-Muslim friends often ask me how we, Muslims, survive the long testing hours of fasting without food and water in soaring temperatures. I am not sure they believe me when I tell them that it’s a mix of practice and unconditional faith that makes us get through the tough days of fasting and sleep deprivation. It’s that time of the year when we feast (read: over eat). Eid menus are planned out days in advance, and tons of sweet and savoury delicacies line up the dinner tables and tea trollies. At Ammi’s house, there always was a set menu for Eidul Fitr. For breakfast, we have boiled vermicelli served with hot milk, which Abbu likes having before heading for Eid prayers. Dessert would include either sheer khurma or a dense milky kheer (rice pudding). The tea trolley is decked with savoury spicy chana chaat, which is made every day and served with lemonade or tea, and some gulab jamans. All the guests visiting us on Eid get to enjoy all of these delicacies, meaning Ammi would prepare them in large quantities. For lunch, there would be pulao, kofta curry (nargasi kofta), some special chicken dish of Ammi’s and haleem, which has always been a non-negotiable dish for lunch and is prepared a day ahead of Eid. I don’t remember eating nargasi koftas much at home since they were only prepared on special occasions or for some special guests. And so, today, I will be sharing my recipe of nargisi koftas that fits the occasion of Eid perfectly and makes your feast whole. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="595"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] Ingredients: Koftas: To be made a day before Minced beef – ½ kilogram Chickpea lentil (channa daal) – ½ cup (soaked overnight) Garlic – 5 to 6 cloves Ginger – 1 (2 inches) Onion – 1 medium-sized (chopped) Green chillies – 2 medium-sized (chopped) Water – 1½ cup Salt – 1 tsp Eggs – 11 (8 hard boiled and 1 for coating) Oil – 1 cup (for deep frying) Dry spices: Whole cloves – 8 Whole black peppercorn – 10 Cinnamon stick – 1 Black cardamom – 2 Cumin seeds – 1 tsp heaped Coriander seeds – 1 tsp heaped Whole dried red chillies – 3 [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="595"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] Curry: Onions – 3 large (diced) Tomatoes – 2 medium-sized (diced) Ginger/garlic paste – 1 tsp Water – 3½ cups Yogurt – 1/3 cup Oil – 6 tbsp Dry Spices: Cumin seeds – 1 tsp heaped and crushed Coriander seeds – 1 tsp heaped and crushed Whole black peppercorn – 6 Cloves – 5 Black cardamom – 1 Green cardamom pods – 3 Cinnamon stick – 1 [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="595"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] Method for koftas:  1. Dry roast all the dry spices and grind them in a spice mill. 2. Add minced beef, chickpea lentil, garlic, ginger, onion, one green chilli, grounded spices, salt and water in a pan. Cook it over medium heat for 45 minutes till the water dries up and the lentil is fully cooked. Set aside and let it cool down completely. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] 3. Add the cooked minced meat into a food processor. Add two uncooked eggs and one medium green chilli, and grind everything finely. Store the mixture in a sealed container and leave it in the fridge overnight. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] 4. Next day, wrap eight hard boiled eggs in the minced meat mixture. 5. Coat the koftas with a lightly beaten egg and deep fry on high heat. 6. Brown the koftas carefully. While frying, do not touch them unless needed as they can crumble and break. Once fried, remove pan and lay them onto some kitchen paper. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] Method for curry: 1. Heat three tablespoons of oil in a pan and fry diced onions till translucent. Add ginger/garlic paste and cook for one minute. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] 2. Add diced tomatoes and cook for two minutes on high heat. Add a cup of water and let it come to a boil. 3. Blend the onion and tomatoes mixture into a fine paste in a liquidiser. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] 4. Heat the remaining three tablespoons of oil in the same pan and fry the dry spices. 5. Add the liquidised mixture into the pan. Cook until all the water dries up and oil comes out on the sides. Cover the pan as the water starts to vaporise. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] 6. Add yogurt and cook till the water from the yogurt dries up. 7. Add two and a half cups of water and let it come to a boil. Lower the heat and let it simmer till oil floats on the top. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] Ladle the hot curry in a serving dish. Cut the fried koftas in half and arrange them in the curry. Garnish with fresh coriander and serve with homemade flat bread – chappati or naan. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="590"] Photo: Ambreen Malik[/caption] Eid Mubarak to everyone back home! Please don’t forget to include the less fortunate ones in our festivities and in particular, remember the displaced people of North Waziristan as Pakistan fights the battle for its survival. Let’s hope that tomorrow will be a better day! This post originally appeared here.

So finally Ramazan has come to an end and our very own meethi Eid (aka Eidul Fitr) is here! Although there are some of us who despise the endless train of Eid visitors, some of us anticipate the various... amusing moments that are bound to arise during these holidays. Here are 11 moments that signify Eidul Fitr’s arrival: 1. The looney lunar: Many people are sleep deprived on Eid. Why, you ask? Well, what else can you expect when the announcement of Eid is sprung on you at the eleventh hour, courtesy of the Ruet-e-Hilal Committee? Pakistanis, by habit, leave quite a few important things to the last minute and so this announcement is of the utmost importance to us. It is when this announcement is made that we scramble out of our slumber and run hither-dither trying to get our last minute shopping done. And then, of course, there are the chand raat celebrations which we must most definitely take part in. So again, you ask the reason behind why we look like we cried the night before? This is it. 2. Gluttony: The night before Eid, you believe that you have actually lost weight and will maintain this for the rest of the year. This was what you wanted. You wanted to lose weight and then comes Eid with all its deliciousness and that resolution goes down the drain as soon as we hit the breakfast table. In my opinion, we are known to eat more on the three days of Eid than we do throughout the month of Ramazan because there is So. Much. Food!  [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] 3.  To drink or not to drink: I am not sure how many of us go through this, but the fear of mistakenly drinking or eating something during Ramazan sticks around for a few days (hours for some) after the last roza (fast). In my case, I end up giving myself a mini heart-attack after sipping a cold glass of water in the afternoon on Eid day. Don’t worry; you’ll need time to get out of your ‘fast’ lane.  [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo: Giphy.com[/caption] 4. That filial duty: When our parents ask us to visit distant relatives at any other time of the year, we feel no shame in a blatant refusal. However, on Eid, it is us reminding them about their not-so-filial duties because you never know who hands that envelope full of crisp notes.  [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo: Mashable[/caption] 5. Holier than thou much:   All those who scrutinise our every move to find a reason to shame us suddenly drop their Ramazan cloaks and are ready to rumble! Now they are are free to admire Humaima Malick’s new dance. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="162"] Photo: Funnyjunk.com[/caption] 6. Tailor woes: Need to get that last minute peeko on your dupatta done or one of your sleeves is somehow shorter than the other? The innumerable curses upon the tailor continue once the roza has ended.  [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] 7. Last minute shopping: Dress? Check. Shoes? Check. Jewellery? Check. Bangles? Oh Crap. Someone get the car out. Now!  [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="280"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] 8. Those dreaded hugs: Eid is one occasion in which 'hugging' suddenly becomes okay. But really, what is the point of the three hugs? Aren't we confused enough already with two or one kisses dilemma that now we need to figure out the amount of times we need to hug? How about a little less action and a little more conversation, please?  [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] 9. Eidi-flation: That moment when you feel like telling your rich relatives about the height of inflation when they hand you that hundred rupee note.  [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo: Giphy.com[/caption] 10. Never ending questions: Unable to strike a conversation? These relatives know how to make you talk. From “why are you working?” to “when are you getting married?”, the question-answer session this Eid is going to be grueling and unforgiving. And the relatives do it with such aplomb; they will ask you anything under the sky, without much thought or hesitation.  [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption] 11.   The table-talkers: Serving guests who start their discussion with the essence of Ramazan being about patience and ending with the doom of Pakistanis for not being Arab enough, while incessantly asking you to pass the bowl of Sheer Khurma. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250"] Photo: Tumblr[/caption]   Eid is essentially all about sharing joy and happiness with the people you love, including family and friends (even if some of them are killjoys), because a few hours won’t hurt so much now, will they? And while we are blessed to celebrate the occasion, let’s spare some time for those less fortunate and remember not to take Eid for granted. And most importantly, Eid Mubarak!

Based around an American prisoner of war’s conversion to Islam and his suspected descent into the terrorist fold, five time Golden Globe-winning series, ‘Homeland’ is widely acclaimed by critics for its top-notch political commentary and a devoted performance by the show’s CIA heroine, Claire Daines. It’s not as uncontroversial among the American Muslim community, however; gaining a mixed response primarily because it has been accused of legitimising Islamophobia by portraying many of its antagonists as radical Muslim terrorists. What’s also feared is that Homeland will incorrectly portray Pakistan, the setting of its upcoming fourth season. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x21qs3x_homeland-season-4-first-look-trailer_shortfilms[/embed] Yet I personally think it’s unfair to simplify Homeland as an anti-Muslim rant and dismiss it as yet another production dedicated to proving to the world that Islam causes half of the world to be inherently violent. In fact, Homeland’s complex narrative goes beyond Islamic terrorism, and does not spare American security apparatus and the political atmosphere of the United States in its three award-winning seasons. What Homeland does portray differently is its depiction of ‘turned’ Muslims, or everyday Muslims who transformed into terrorists. Rather than blame religious literature or readings of the Quran, it accuses more secular causes like drone strikes, foreign invasions and occupations for turning normal individuals into terrorists. This is something that sets Homeland apart from other productions that focus on the Muslim ‘problem’, as it is addressed by Hollywood. Oscar-winning Zero Dark Thirty, also coincidentally placed in Pakistan, and based around the Abbottabad operation of 2011, is much more misleading than what Homeland has been accused of being for three years. All Muslims in Zero Dark Thirty are terrorists or spies; Islamabad is completely stereotyped into a very Middle Eastern location; notwithstanding Pakistan is in the Indian sub-continent and shares no borders with the Arab world. Camels, bazaars, minarets and veils are what categorise what is a very modern part of Pakistan and one of the world’s most planned capitals, and there is no Pakistani throughout the film’s running-time that is either a victim or simply a Pakistani. Even the terrorists are consistently shown to be devout Arabic-speaking Muslims acting in accordance with Islamic commandments solely for the purpose of destroying the United States and its allies. When the film ends, a postscript highlights the losses suffered since the war on terror began. It would have been acceptable if this causality list wasn’t exclusively reserved for American soldiers and civilians. It ignored the thousands of non-Western civilians who have lost their lives in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq and multiple countries plagued by terrorist outfits and did not act as a justification of procedures that were followed by the CIA to catch Osama Bin Laden, one of the procedures that escalated attacks on polio workers as a consequence. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xwksak_zero-dark-thirty-trailer_shortfilms[/embed] In contrast, Homeland doesn’t categorise Muslims into terrorists and shows great diversity in representing Muslims, not as monolithic and merely the same being with different faces, but as proper individuals with divergent aspirations. One of Claire Danes’s character’s co-workers is the son of a Lebanese woman and Mexican Muslim convert. Another Muslim CIA analyst is shunned for wearing a headscarf, again, a very rare acceptance of Islamophobia present in the United States that penetrates every section of society. Stupid mistakes made by the CIA and other American security agencies are often very racist, like simply quarantining some suspects for being of Arab-origin or travelling to Lahore, where in fact the real culprits are white. The CIA is also shown not to keep its promises of protecting individuals who exchange their own lives for preventing attacks on innocent people, no matter how significant their contributions is in the war on terror. Where Zero Dark Thirty’s CIA is very heroic and only keen on preventing villainous Muslims from invading America, Homeland’s CIA is repeatedly slammed for its ineffective policies and ulterior motives. In light of all this, claiming Homeland is Islamophobic is really, immensely inaccurate. Sometimes people only see the fact that the antagonist, Abu Nazir, is a Muslim, therefore this show is Islamophobic, without recognising that in fact Muslim terrorists do exist and there are radical outfits operating in the name of Islam across the world. It is, on the contrary, a show where a CIA case officer accuses the head of an al Qaeda offshoot of ‘corrupting the Prophet’s word’ and exposing his lies and self-contradictions, and where a Venezuelan imam refuses to give a convert sanctuary by claiming,

‘You are not a Muslim, you are a terrorist.’

“All hail Caesar”

Director Brett Ratner, who has previously directed the Rush Hour trilogy, X-Men: The Last Stand, and Horrible Bosses, brings Hercules, an action-packed movie with Greek muscles written all over it. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1jounb_hercules-international-trailer_shortfilms[/embed] Pumping the action in the lead role is former World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) superstar, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, who is seen clad in leather attire while swinging his swords and clubs at his enemies with Greek conviction. Unlike the Greek mythology, where Hercules is the son of Zeus, the movie doesn’t bode that connection as this time the story is somewhat different. Hercules (Dwayne Johnson) is the leader of the mercenaries and although he is regarded as the demigod son of Zeus, the story portrays him as a human. Nevertheless, it did not bother Hercules for he has acquired training to take down beasts twice his size. Moreover, the story narrates the reason why Hercules became mortal. To know this, the viewers must watch the movie. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] The story is quite straightforward, where Hercules is asked by Lord Cotys of Thrace (John Hurt) to provide his army with ample training to defend the Thracian Kingdom against Rheseus (Tobias Santelmann). Those following Hercules in his band of mercenary are Amphiaraus (Ian McShane), Autolycus (Rufus Sewell), Tydeus (Aksel Hennie), Atalanta (Ingrid Bolso Berdal) and  Iolaus (Reece Ritchie). All are experts in particular domains of warfare. Iolaus, however, is Hercules’ nephew and the one who narrates the story. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="593"] Still of Rufus Sewell, Aksel Hennie, Dwayne Johnson, Ingrid Bolso Berdal and Reece Ritchie. Photo: IMDb[/caption] To keep the story simple, the narrative explains that Hercules did complete the Twelve Labours, a feat that made him a legend. However, the story doesn’t dwell on these achievements. Only glimpses of his success were shown in the opening scenes of the movie, which set the pace with special effects of battle scenes shot to suit Herculean might. Though the movie is set in Greek times, one can relate the story to on-going modern day conflicts among countries and in particular regions, as Lord Cotys is aggressively pursuing to expand his kingdom while Hercules and his men are preventing him from doing so. Ring any bells? It was Lord Cotys’ daughter, Ergenia (Rebecca Ferguson), who delivered his father’s message to Hercules. He did have a brief moment of romance with Ergenia, however, it was a decent attempt not to prolong the affair because the movie is about muscles, fights and an adrenaline rush that shows why Johnson is a rising action star. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="590"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] In the previous versions of Hercules, it was portrayed that in time of need, Hercules would call upon his father, Zeus, for help. The ruler of Mount Olympus would send his soldiers or would change the weather to beat the enemy to save Hercules. However, in this version, since the demigod son is human, he must therefore complete all the tasks on his own. This, however, adds spice to the story, as the viewer’s know that Hercules will be in action this time and not Zeus. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Johnson began preparing for the role months before the shooting began. Although he was always in top shape because of his wrestling career and later turned into an action star, he needed to go an extra mile to turn himself into Hercules. According to Johnson, he trained himself in Budapest where he would begin his workouts at three in the morning. For nearly eight months, he followed a schedule of working out for hours in the gym, consuming a strong three course diet and shooting for the film that could go on for 12 hours. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Ratner’s professional graph will take a giant leap for he has never done a movie based on a Greek character and his past projects belonged to the genre of fantasy, science fiction, comedy or drama. After directing X-Men: The Last Stand (2005), which wasn’t as big a success as the other movies of the X-Men franchise, Ratner was in pursuit of a movie that could establish his directorial skills, and Hercules certainly is his best work yet. It has catapulted both Ratner and Johnson’s careers to new heights. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="593"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] With a story as big as Hercules’, the running time of the movie is 98 minutes. Ratner and producers, Barry Levine and Beau Flynn have done a good job summing up the story with breath-taking action sequences within a time span of 100 minutes. The 3D effects bring action to life as Hercules’ weapons and his battles become prominent along with the special effects that are just what the viewers want to see. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="593"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Even though the film has action and a smooth story, it seems as if the sword wielding scenes were honed down for some reason. The movie is adapted from the graphic novel of the same name and those who have read the novel must be wondering why similar graphic content wasn’t shown in its scenes. Being an avid fan of Johnson, this is perhaps my only criticism. Besides that, the movie is a good watch that would appeal more to male viewers for its testosterone-fuelled fights.

Right after watching The Expendables 2, I anxiously awaited for the next star-studded joy ride to be released soon. And, finally, The Expendables 3 is here. The experience of watching The Expendables 3 is incomplete if, by any means, you plan to watch it on a smaller screen. It must be watched in the cinema, on the big screen. When I think of my experience of watching the movie, the only word that comes to mind and describes it is perfectly is ‘unbelievable’. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1zolqt_the-expendables-3-official-trailer-1-2014-sylvester-stallone-movie-hd_shortfilms[/embed] The plot of is carefully scripted, simply because of the fact that many critics bombarded the earlier enterprises with questions regarding the loopholes in the script. This time, it’s about one Expendable against another – Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his team standing up against Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson). Ross and Stonebanks, who used to be good friends back in the day, had a clash of interests when the latter decided to invest his skills into an arms trading business. Ross, completely aware of Stonebanks’s talent and ruthlessness, decides to recruit a new team full of fresh blood and ideas to take Stonebanks down. Ross had to bid adieu to his old team which included Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunner (Dolph Lundgren) and Toll (Randy Couture). What happens next is what makes the star-studded movie utterly amazing and worth definitely your money. Like its previous enterprises, this sequel is not a one-man movie. In fact, this time the size of the cast has increased in multiple folds and is much saucier and more entertaining than the prequels. With a blockbuster cast with big names like Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Wesley Snipes, Harrison Ford, Kellan Lutz, Antonio Banderas, Ronda Rousey, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Kelsey Grammer, Gibson, and Stallone, all that comes to mind is a grand action-fuelled blockbuster. And boy does it meet one’s expectations immensely. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="596"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] It is what you may call a magnificently action-packed movie where there is no requirement for subject, script or logic. Gun smoke, tanks, fire-fights, bombs, breath-taking stunts and blasts should be your focal points. In terms of dialogues, there are some great one-liners by Snipes, Statham, Banderas, Gibson and Schwarzenegger. Stallone plays his role of being the leader of the team with complete command and shows different sides to his character smoothly. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="593"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Gibson finally gets to play the role of a bad guy and proves why he was casted for such a pivotal role. His performance is one he will be remembered for, especially the climax combat between him and Stallone. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="592"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Ford and Schwarzenegger give a dull performance but you still don’t get bored with them because of their on-screen power. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="595"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Snipes and Banderas stand out in this endeavour undeniably. They both showcase their talent in multiple scenes and are indeed a treat to watch. This time, Statham does not have that much screen presence but still manages to impresses the audience with whatever little screen time he has. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] If you are a fan of action icons of the 80s and 90s and if you have been waiting for an action movie that is enormous in terms of its entertainment value, then The Expendables 3 is the one for you. On the contrary, if you are looking for an award winning movie, then this shouldn’t be your choice by any means. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="592"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] It is a complete rampant action flick where there is no room for common sense. Its main objective is to entertain the masses, especially those who are fans of yester years’ action icons. In light of it being an action movie, I would rate the movie 4.5 on a scale of 5 as it definitely is a must-watch for action lovers.

“Pyar dosti hai ... agar woh meri sab se achi dost nahin ban sakti, tou main uss se kabhi pyar kar hi nahi sakta ... Kyun ki dosti bina tou pyar hota hi nahin... simple, pyar dosti hai” (Love is friendship. If she can’t become my best friend, then I can’t ever possibly love her. Because love cannot exist without friendship. It’s simple; love is friendship.)

“Yeh keh kar Khan Sahib to chal diye aur siyaapa duniya bhar mein daal diya.”  (After saying this, Khan Sahib went his merry way and left the world in a dilemma)

“Kuch kuch hota hai Anjali, tum nahin samjhogee” (One feels something, Anjali. You won’t understand it)

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it” – Robin Williams

“I love kids, but they are a tough audience.”

“Mom? Dad? I’m home!”

“I absolutely loved Dead Poet’s Society”, she said. “Since this movie came out before I was born, I came across it very late. But, like other Williams’ movie, it left a long lasting mark on me. He is not only an inspirational character who helps students discover their true self, but also someone who makes you smile at moments when you least expect it. I was left wishing I had a teacher like him.”

“Today’s special moments are tomorrow’s memories.”

“I’m history! No, I’m mythology! Nah, I don’t care what I am, I’m free!”

“Williams played a ten-year-old in this movie, and his depiction was spectacular. This was and has been one of my favourite movies of all time. Yet, I haven’t come across many people who have seen it. I recommend all Robin Williams fan to commemorate his life and watch this masterpiece.”

“This movie made me laugh and cry at the same time, which is something only Robin Williams could do. Despite having a limit to displaying emotions and expressions because he was a robot in this movie, his delivery was exceptional. I could not help but feel for him (we usually forget he was just a character in a film). This movie can, guaranteed, give you goose bumps.”

“Williams played a crazy, delusional homeless in this one. He was an absolute entertainer, with his manic comedy coupled with heart-breaking, tragic outbursts. It was no surprise when he won the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comic Role for this performance.”

“Not many know that, aside from being an extraordinary actor, Williams was also a gifted stand-up comedian.”

 “I feel there was something heart-warming about Robin Williams. No matter what he played, a robot or US president or a nanny or even a lover, his characters seemed to make one melt. He’d leave a piece of himself with you. You wanted to get into the screen and hug him for his motivation, cry with him when he got upset, laugh and dance with him when he was happy. The news of his death leaves us heartbroken. But, what he has left behind is a gift in itself for all his fans. We can share these moments with him till the end of time. And for that and so much more, we will always be grateful to him.”

When you’re a die-hard fan of Game of Thrones (GoT), you cannot help but categorise every person you come across to a certain House from the plot. However, the recent developments in Pakistani politics and the prevalent power struggle between every influential political party provoked me to come up with my own version of GoT. So, Lords and Ladies of Westeros, I present to you, Pakistan’s very own Game of Thrones: The Sharifs as the Lannisters They are rich and always pay their debts, or well at least they say that they do. When they’re in power, they divide the whole kingdom amongst the family to try and maintain their version of peace in the realm. And of course, let’s not forget that both the Sharifs’ and the Lannisters have chosen the ‘lion’ as their sigil. Thus, the Sharifs perfectly fit the character traits of the Lannisters. Renly Baratheon defines them beautifully when he says,

“You have to give it to the Lannisters - they may be the most pompous, ponderous humans the Gods ever suffered to walk the world, but they do have outrageous amounts of money.”

“In the winter, we must protect ourselves, look after one another.” – Ned Stark

“And now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall live and die at my post. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honour to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.”

After Prisoners of War, upon which the much acclaimed TV series Homeland is based on, prominent screenwriter and director, Gideon Raff brings us Tyrant. [embed width="620"]http://vimeo.com/100035540[/embed] Set in present day civil-war-torn and fictional Middle Eastern country of Abbudin, it tells the story of the main protagonist Barry or Bassam Al Fayeed (Adam Rayner), son of the ruler of Abbudin. Because he never got along or agreed with the policies of his father, who ruled the country with an iron fist, he moved to the United States to pursue higher education in medicine and also to distance himself from the politics of his country and family. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="597"] Photo: Hollywood Reporter[/caption] Now, he is a doctor living a cliché suburban American life, is married to an American girl and has two children. But his quiet life turns eventful when his whole family has to go to his home country to attend a family wedding. During their course of stay in Abbudin, Barry’s family is awestruck by the opulence and wealthy lifestyle of the Al Fayeed’s. Barry, however, is unfazed as he has witnessed how it all has been achieved. All he wants to do is return to his quiet life in the US but due to certain inevitable circumstances, he gets drawn in and has no choice but to help his brother, Jamal Al Fayeed (Ashraf Barhoom), who is the current president, run the country. That’s where the whole premise of the series starts off. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="599"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Jamal’s character is loosely based upon the real life character of Uday Hussein, Saddam Hussein’s son. His malevolence and hot headedness is clearly apparent from the first episode of the series and nearly costs him his life; the consequences of living in excess coupled with a wicked demeanour. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="597"] Photo: Hollywood Reporter[/caption] The two brothers couldn’t be any more poles apart – while Barry is tactful, cool minded, proactive and knows how to tread lightly on a combustible situation, Jamal believes in inculcating his rule through sheer brute force and with the barrel of a gun. Some early episodes show how Barry ends up undoing the damage done by Jamal and tries to calm down the situation at hand. Somehow, Barry manages to convince his elder brother to be more democratic in his approach and be a statesman rather than being known as a brutal dictator or tyrant by the rest of the world. He also warns him that if he doesn’t rectify his ways, his fate wouldn’t be that different from the likes of Saddam, Gaddafi, Hosni Mubarak and rest of the rulers who ruled their respective Middle Eastern countries and become causalities of the Arab Spring. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="594"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] The series has excellent production values as the sets and the locations feel real and authentic; clearly a lot of thought and effort has been invested in its planning and execution. The cinematography is par excellence and the music is befitting for a series entrenched in Arab settings and values. The show has received its fair share of criticism from critics (mostly Middle Eastern) who criticise the series for portraying a stereotypical dictatorial and draconian regime as sheer propaganda. But in all fairness, the series has borrowed elements from real life scenarios, whether it is from Iraq, Syria and Libya’s current and former ruling regimes. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="596"] Photo: Hollywood Reporter[/caption] Tyrant can be called a ‘modern day Arabian Game of Thrones’, with family drama, feuding clans, mischievous uncles, scorned and conniving wives; it has all that is needed to whet the appetite of its audience and leave them craving more.

There has to be something about a movie where a Pakistani audience sits silently in cinemas, where mobile texting and chatting during a movie is the norm otherwise, and watch two lead characters dominate the story in a single location for 83 minutes. Billed as Pakistan’s first ‘Film Noir’, Tamanna is definitely in a league of its own in the context of Pakistani cinema. Prominent film critic Taran Adarsh raised an important point upon release of the film Barfi!,

“You don’t formulate movies (like Barfi!) targeting its box-office potential or its commercial prospects. You create such films for its passion of cinema.”

Jamil Ahmad’s The Wandering Falcon cruised into my bucket list when it was shortlisted for the Man Asian Literary Prize and Commonwealth Book Prize, but that was not the sole reason for it clicking with me. It was the debut work of the author at the age of 78 and was written long before we mired our stream of consciousness by replacing people with numbers and empathy with stock language for the tribal people of Pakistan. Penned down some 34 years ago, the work of fiction has become extremely relevant to the current global situation rampant with discourse of convenience. The short stories shot to fame after landing space in the prestigious Granta, the literary magazine. It could be termed as an unadulterated version of a world which has become marketable to a nauseating extent. Nowadays, the instant recipe to literary fame is taking up the post 9/11 theme, and twerk with personal style, especially if you are lucky enough to belong to the troubled areas (the only time you feel privileged for your motherland). The Wandering Falcon is immunised from this commercialism which makes it an effective cultural document. The set of stories could be enjoyed individually, but they are also connected with the leitmotif of Tor Baz, a character which appears in every story and evolves in the process. The collection celebrates the tribal people as they are, without tinting them with post 9/11 clichés. It depicts people and their customs objectively, without being apologetic for them or demonising them. Ahmad served in tribal areas as a civil servant and developed enduring respect and understating for their culture. He said in an interview:

“I felt the tribes had far more grace, a far greater sense of honour, rectitude, truth — the qualities we associate with a decent human being — than you found in the cities”.

“My love, take away the towers, there is something about them I do not like”.

“If people in this room can be silent, thoughts shall come easier to me. We Baloch are used to the silence of the desert”.

When you’re in your 20s and early 30s, you feel like you are stuck somewhere in the middle. You feel confused and agitated, more so because this is the time you start to analyse how you imagined your life to be and how it has actually turned out. If you feel like this, then don’t worry; you’re going through a quarter-life crisis. Here are some of the most common symptoms of this crisis: 1) Every day you log on to your Facebook account and you see:

“Sara got engaged to Akram” “Bilal married Eraj” “Mushtaq is on his honeymoon with Sukaina”

Yes, Emraan Hashmi is back in his ‘serial kisser avatar’ in Kunal Deshmukh’s Raja Natwarlal. This time Emraan is blessed with both: his serial kissing traits and his power packed spontaneous performance. The movie created a lot of buzz pre and post release, as it casts Pakistani ‘drama queen’ and movie star, Humaima Malick, opposite Emraan. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x21ou0p_raja-natwarlal-official-trailer-emraan-hashmi-humaima-malik_people[/embed] Although, Humaima made her début in the Pakistani film industry with ‘Bol’, back in 2011, in Bollywood this is her first release. There were a lot of expectations for the movie to be a success for everyone, including Emraan, Humaima, Kunal and Kay Kay Menon. So, what happened to the movie? Let’s explore that thought. Raja Natwarlal is a typical revenge saga of a con-man, Raja Natwarlal, (Emraan Hashmi) fighting for the cold-blooded murder of his partner cum caretaker, Raghav (Deepak Tijori). Raja stands up against all odds to take vengeance from Vardha Yadav (Kay Kay Menon) with the help of a retired con artist, Yogi (Paresh Rawal). Raja leaves his love toy, Ziya (Humaima Malick) – a bar dancer, back in India and flies to Cape Town (Raghav’s empire) with Yogi to con Raghav. What happens next is a typical Bollywood caricature. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="640"] Emraan Hashmi. Photo: Publicity[/caption] Kunal and Emraan, together, gave some great hits in the past, including Jannat and Jannat 2, but this time despite being 100% dedicated to the show; they couldn’t save the movie from getting lost somewhere in translation. There was no grip in the plot; blame it on the writing, editing or whatever – Raja Natwarlal sinked at the box office. Performance wise, it is a decent affair. Emraan gives a 100% to both his images; as a revenge seeker he was believable and livid, and as a serial kisser he is back in form. And Humaima Malick does not restrict herself in any scene. In fact, she looks gorgeous throughout the film and shows no signs of shyness. She cannot be called cheap or vulgar under any circumstances for this character. She managed to look naturally sensuous. However, she deserved a much better character than just ‘acting as a support’ sort of part. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="640"] Humaima Malick. Photo: Publicity[/caption] Deepak Tijori is back on the silver screen, after a hiatus, in a brief role. He performs decently and gives exactly what was expected from him. Kay Kay Menon and Paresh Rawal were the usual: detailed, faultless and a treat to watch in some scenes. All the main characters in Raja Natwarlal are experienced and cannot be questioned on their performance potentials. The only new bird in the flock was Humaima Malick, and even she bagged (unofficially) three movie-deals as a result of this performance. One is with Vidhu Vinod Chopra (starring Sharman Joshi opposite her) and the other with Shaan, titled ‘Mission Allahuakbar’, which is about to hit Pakistani cinema theatres in 2014. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="640"] Photo: Publicity[/caption] In totality, Raja Natwarlal has nothing novel or interesting to offer; a list of talented actors is wasted. I would rate it two out of five and I am being generous.